THE VOW
Starring Rachel McAdams, Channing Tatum and Sam Neill
Director Michael Sucsy
When Paige (McAdams) loses her memory after a car acci-dent, her husband needs to work at keeping their relationship alive. Will Paige be able to fall in love with him all over again?

THE IRON LADY
Starring Meryl Streep, Jim Broadbent and Richard E Grant
Director Phyllida Lloyd
Meryl Streep plays former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, nicknamed the ‘Iron Lady’, in this biographical drama. The film is the story of Thatcher’s time in power between 1979 and 1990, as well as a look at her personal life before and during her years of service.

THE DESCENDANTS
Starring George Clooney, Shailene Woodley and Amara Miller
Director Alexander Payne
Matt (Clooney) has to re-examine
his relationship with his daughters when his wife is involved in a boat accident. Previously indifferent to his role as a father and husband, he must try to reconnect with his children, at the same time wrestling with the decision of whether or not to sell his family’s property.

FRIGHT NIGHT
Starring Anton Yelchin and Colin Farrell
Director Craig Gillespie
High-school student Charley is convinced there’s something strange about his new neighbour. Unfortunately, he’s the only one who’s suspicious. Then he figures it out: the new guy must be a vampire…

ONE DAY
Starring Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess
Director Lone Scherfig
After graduating from Edinburgh University, best friends Emma and Dexter start leading increasingly different lives. One Day tells their story by finding out where they both are each year on 15 July.

INSTRUMENTAL MAGIC – VARIOUS
★★★
Love instrumental music? Then this two-disc compi-lation is a must for your CD collection. The 43 songs include Richard Clayder-man’s ‘Ballade Pour Adeline’ and Henry Mancini’s ‘Love Theme from Romeo and Juliet’. Perfect for fans who want to experience some magical instrumental tunes.

PART LIES, PART HEART, PART TRUTH, PART GARBAGE: 1982–2011
– R.E.M
★★★
This is R.E.M’s first greatest-hits album, spanning their 31-year career. The 40-song album includes their hits over almost three decades, plus three new tunes, and is an epic final hoorah after they announced their split last year.

LIFE’S GREATEST HITS – VARIOUS
★★★
Favourite pop songs abound
on this compilation. Tracks include The Cranberries, The Black Eyed Peas and Maroon 5. All great excuses to sing along.

BOOKS

SAVOUR
By Marc Hirschowitz, Karen Alsfine and Estelle Sacharowitz (Random House Struik)
Trying to find new dishes for dinner each night can become tough. Luckily, this South African cookbook provides some great inspiration: the 200 recipes are simple to make and help keep evening meals original. You won’t be calling for pizza any time soon.

THE NEW BABY
& CHILD CARE HANDBOOK
By Marina Petropulos
(MP Books)
This book contains 504 pages of the latest advice from author Marina Petropulos. Topics include everything from how to prepare for the birth and essential info on child ill-nesses, to issues such as fears and learning difficulties.

THE 3RD ALTERNATIVE: SOLVING LIFE’S MOST DIFFICULT PROBLEMS
By Stephen Covey (Jonathan Ball)
This best-selling author has a few practical solutions to overcoming challenges. It’s all about finding a balance between ‘my way’ (the first alternative) and ‘your way’ (the second), without resorting to a watered-down compromise.

DON’T LET ME GO
By Catherine Ryan Hyde (Random House Struik)
In an attempt to fix her mother’s substance abuse problem, and stop social service from placing her in foster care, 10-year-old Grace approaches her neighbours in their apartment block, including the reclusive Billy, for assistance. Will her plan to save her mom work?

Your finishing touches for the most romantic day of the year…

Sixties scene
Think modern silhouettes – shift dresses, high necklines and shorter skirts. Keep accessories to a minimum and choose chunky wedges or pretty heels to keep the look up to date.

Keep winning!

Winners November 2012

YARDLEY BEAUTY HAMPER
Cedras MB, Tafelsig
Maripane SN, Ackerville
Mayekiso Z, Tsakane
Modupi ML, Danhof
Mohale TM, Meadowlands
Mphirime M, Rammulotsi
Seabela PM, Phoenix
Sibiya BN, Mount Edgecombe
Small AM, Elsiesrivier
Songwiqi Z, Mdantsane

PANACHE GOLD HAMPER
Buthelezi AB, Intabazwe
Kehologile M, Postmasburg
Lethetsa MG, Phomalong
Malebo ST, Welkom
Masilo DP, Sun City
Norris RM, Wentworth
Phiri CF, Barberton
Plaatjies C, Kensington
Saayman J, Vanderbijlpark
Siboto P, Elonwabeni

YARDLEY SMOKEY EYES
Burger L, Meyerton
Couldridge VR, Bethelsdorp
Dlamini ND, Amanzimtoti
Dubai NF, Kwamashu
Jacobs FV, Alberton
Komondo VM, Mamelodi West
Masinga MJ, Midrand
Miles L, Komga
Ndlumbini S, Samora Machel
Nkosi E, Evaton

STUDIO BASIC
Dlamini MS, Northdale
Erasmus MC, Proteapark
Gcumisa WS, Bethlehem
Kamongalo Wm, Odendaalsrus
Mengo M, Namibia
Moloto PL, Seshego
Peter B, Wellington
Thebeyagae VO, Taung
Tomirotti FW, Sunnyridge
Van Oordt ES, Birchleigh

DR BRANDT
Makolo MJ, Randfontein
Mkhonza GH, Kwamashu
Morobane SK, Mamelodi
Motsamai KM, Kroondal
Mushayanyama L, East London
Poley K, Mmabatho
Sikhanti V, Keiskammahoek
Stalmeester C, Dysselsdorp
Theron HM, George
Williams ES, Bloemendal

TFG GIFT CARD
Engelbrecht A, Nieuwoudtville
Fouche S, Fairways
Hlungwani R, Protea North
Leetz CM, Glenhaven Est
Mogotsi ME, Lichtenburg
Mpitsi SS, Riebeeckstad
Nhlapo G, Itsoseng
Nonyane RC, Luckhoff
Sellmann J, Bracken Downs
Seloana MC, Meadowlands

NU METRO VOUCHER
Brauteseth C, Shelly Beach
Houman N, Asherville
Lengesi NE, Dingleton
Linde M, Frankfort
Lite M, Estcourt
Mahlangu L, Mamelodi East
Mahlangu SC, Tshiawelo
Martin AC, Wellington
Mokoteli D, Goedgedacht
Msibi N, Ermelo

CD GIVEAWAY
Bereng J, Taung Station
Emmenis JM, Weavind Park
Hlatshwayo ZS, Ezakheni

DVD GIVEAWAY
Mahlangu MN, Soshanguve
Mnenyela S, Orkney
Munien A, Darnall

BOOK GIVEAWAY
Dlomo MW, Greytown
Msiza EN, Ekangala
Tshali H, Polokwane

HOROSCOPE
Maroga S, Kaalfontein

SUDOKU
Lesch AG, Alicedale

CROSSWORD
Busakwe B, King William’s Town

The traditional version of the family structure is outdated.

And just as well, because it has opened us up to so much more love. In the modern family, we have relationships in which people mean a lot more to each other than their assigned roles. From best friends to parents, it has all changed, which means you have that many more go-to people. Find out what family means to others.

Speaking of family, it’s one thing that our cover star Kate Winslet isn’t willing to compromise on. She puts her children firmly ahead of her star schedule, which is nothing short of exemplary.

One thing that tends to stand in the way of spending time with loved ones nowadays, is technology. Why not get some perspective on how to balance your intake. And, on the topic of reducing things, we look at what you can do about your carbon footprint. Whatever you do, go out there and make a difference.

Jane McGroarty finds out more about anxiety disorders and how to cope with them…

Your hands get sweaty,your fingers tingle and your breathing gets shallow. You’re feeling restless, tense and jumpy. You’re struggling to concentrate and have feelings of dread. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone: anxiety affects roughly one in five people says Janine Shamos, a resilience therapist, lecturer and spokesperson for the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (Sadag).

But what is anxiety? According to Janine, ‘It’s a feeling of nervousness, fear or excessive apprehension in the absence of any real threat.’ Symptoms include feeling panicky, an increased heart rate, sweaty palms, a tingly feeling in your fingers, a feeling of nervousness or dread, shallow breathing and feeling like you’re having a heart attack. ‘If someone fears driving or speaking in public, for example, they will most likely feel that dread increasingly as the event gets closer and may feel ill or “out of sorts”,’ Janine explains.

WHAT CAUSES ANXIETY
Janine says the most common culprits include stress, excessive caffeine consumption, substance abuse, trauma and exposure to violence. But, she adds, there is a genetic component to anxiety so you may also be at risk if a family member suffers from it.

TYPES OF ANXIETY DISORDERS
• Generalised anxiety disorder (GAD) is characterised by inflated tension and worry without any apparent cause, leading to inability to sleep or relax, light-headedness, short-ness of breath, nausea, trembling, muscle tension, headaches, irritability or sweating.

• Panic attacks and panic disorders are when the sufferer feels sudden and unpredictable terror, which can become problematic if it makes people avoid situations they fear may trigger an attack. Symptoms include a rapid pulse, chest pains, shortness of breath, dizziness, nausea, numbness, trembling and a fear of going crazy or dying.

• Agoraphobia is a fear of being in a place (usually a public space) where escape would be difficult. It is often accompanied by panic disorder and is one of the most disabling anxiety disorders because it causes sufferers to avoid places they fear an attack may occur. In severe cases, an agoraphobic person will become so restricted they cannot leave their home.

• Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is typified by rituals, such as washing hands or compulsively and repeatedly checking things. People with OCD often have persistent and recurring thoughts, which can become obsessive.

• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) may occur after a particularly stressful event and often leaves sufferers plagued by frightening thoughts and memories. Symptoms include avoidance behaviours, reliving of the traumatic event and physiological manifestations such as difficulty sleeping, irritability and sometimes even violent outbursts.

• Social anxiety disorder (SAD) is also known as social phobia and is characterised by extreme anxiety about being judged by others or behaving in a way that may cause embarrassment or ridicule. It causes symptoms such as blushing, heart palpitations, light-headedness and profuse sweating.

HOW TO COPE
While anxiety disorders may not be life-threatening, they can limit a person’s social and work life if left untreated. ‘One important symptom or result of anxiety is that of avoid-ance – people start steering clear of anything and anywhere that may make them feel anxious.’

According to Janine, one of the first steps to coping with your anxiety is to admit that there is an issue and to know what situations trigger your anxiety. ‘There are treatments that are very successful, for example cognitive behavioural therapy. Also, there are changes you can make such as avoiding too much caffeine and salt, practising deep breathing and learning the triggers and first signs of a panic attack so you can stop the progression by breathing deeply and focusing on something around you,’ she says.

NOT JUST A NUMBER
According to the National Institute of Mental Health in the US, anxiety disorders affect roughly 40 million adults living there, which costs the country a whopping $42 billion (about R358 billion) every year.

Unfortunately, Sadag says there are currently no official stats on anxiety sufferers in South Africa. If you suspect you may be suffering from any form of anxiety, Janine recommends that you contact Sadag for more information or for a referral to a specialist.

Establishing a relationship with your child’s teacher is important for your little one’s development, says Bongiwe Nocanda

The important questions

What you should ask your child’s teacher:
• Is my child participating in and contributing to class discussions and activities?
• Does my child understand the important concepts of a particular subject? Are they experiencing any difficulties with the work?
• How is my child relating to their peers?
• Is my child meeting all their homework deadlines?

Taking an active role in your little one’s school-ing can be difficult, especially if you and your spouse are working long hours and struggling with stress.

In the evenings, most parents ask their kids how their day was and get routine answers, or half the truth. Many of us assume that a teacher will get in touch if anything is amiss.

But, depending on the school, educators can have as many as 30 learners in a class, and often many more. Between admin tasks and their volume of work, most teachers are unable to spend quality time with their students.

Tracey Wood, a social worker at Rondebosch Boys Primary School in Cape Town, says the only way to keep track of your children’s academic progress is to develop an open dialogue with their teachers.

IT’S IN THE DETAIL
‘Being involved in your child’s school life will give you insight into how they’re managing academically,’ says Tracey. Do you know whether your child is at the correct level of maths or grammar aptitude? It’s possible for them to scrape by but still miss the basic comprehension skills they will need later on. ‘You may find out one or two things from your son or daughter, but if they are not managing they may be hesitant to come forward, because they’re afraid they’ll disappoint you.’

And it’s the little things that become bigger problems later on. You don’t want to find out when they’re in high school that they’ve been lagging behind with maths and that many of the problems they’re experiencing should have been grasped in the foundation phase. This can cost parents thousands of rands in extra lessons. ‘When you can see the problems, you can address the issues early on,’ says Tracey.

FROM THE GROUND UP
It’s equally important that your child establishes a relationship with his or her teacher, says Tracey. ‘You should encourage this development and be supportive of the teacher’s role in your child’s development. Let the school know you want to hear about your child’s progress and would appreciate feedback outside of the term report.’

The teacher may have a different perspective about your child and you must be open and willing to hear what they have to say, says Tracey. Some-times parents aren’t prepared to hear about ill discipline or laziness because it requires action on the home front. It might be easier to place the responsibility for your child’s education solely on their teacher, but you need to understand that, as a parent, you also have a massive part to play.

FACE TO FACE
Tracey stresses that parents should make the effort to attend parent-teacher meetings, as they tackle your child’s personal performance in the classroom and on the playground. ‘Children need to know you’re willing to make the effort to hear about how they’re managing at school. Your child will know you’re thinking about them, that you are aware of the demands being made and the challenges they face,’ says Tracey. This is important for their self-esteem. ‘When you show an interest in your children’s schooling, you’re illustrating that you see them as individuals and are interested in learning more about them.’ It’s with this interest that you will come to know your child’s strengths and weaknesses – and find out where you can assist.

LIFE CIRCUMSTANCES
‘Significant changes in the home, such as divorce or death, are considered to be major traumas, so it’s vital that you inform teachers of such events,’ says Tracey. ‘When children are faced with up-heavals, they probably won’t function as they usually do. They may be more withdrawn, more aggressive, unable to concentrate and may not be able to manage the tasks they normally do.’

Tracey says that if the teacher is aware they will respond with greater understanding and empathy towards your child. ‘Having said that, you don’t have to divulge all of your personal problems. Assess what’s important and what may impact your child’s ability to oncentrate. Tracey says it’s always good for parents to communicate in an open and clear way with their child’s teacher. ‘Many behaviours can be better understood and dealt with appropriately when there is knowledge of what may be driving or contributing to that particular behaviour.’

PISCES
19 February – 20 March
If you’re looking for work, be optimistic. After that, restrain yourself as money could present problems.
In love, your instincts will give you the clues you need.
Your message
Ask for anything and the entire universe will be set in motion to get it for you.

AQUARIUS
20 January – 18 February

Money
Business partnerships and joint ventures are possible as you redefine your dreams. Making money is no longer the challenge; now you’re wondering how best to use it.

Love
No special effort is required before the 19th. Love finds you, asks you out and even pays. After that, you may be required to put in some energy. While you wait, decide what you want out of love.

At home
Watch your sense of humour – it may come back to bite you – but tolerance is already yours. Now you’re simply adding a little fun.

Your message
If you act as though you’ve been around for many years, everyone will accept that you’re the expert.

ARIES
21 March – 19 April
If you want love, you’re going to get it. Someone needs to make the first move, after all. At work, you haven’t yet figured out how to balance your personal life with those endless hours at the office.
Your message
Making money is a game you play with yourself. How much do you care about the outcome?

TAURUS
20 April – 20 May
The focus this month is on your career. Are you willing to accept that you deserve the best? Your patience levels are way down, so concentrate on yourself for now.
Your message
Acceptance need not be earned, it was there all along.

GEMINI
21 May – 20 June
Even if you’re not as successful as you’d like to be, the people around you are keen to help out. Look out for pay rises, promotions, travel or new opportunities.
Your message
The opposite of love is fear, so remember to work on loving yourself.

CANCER
21 June – 22 July
Your career path gets stronger after the 8th – for the first time in ages, you know what you want. There’s no point in making any romantic decisions now.
Your message
Treat yourself as you would an adored lover. You’ll soon see changes.

LEO
23 July – 22 August
Before the 19th, love and a wild social life keep you amused. You’re at your creative best, coming up with ideas and solu-tions that blow people away.
Your message
If you’re looking for love, keep a piece of rose quartz with you.

VIRGO
23 August – 22 September
You can’t expect anyone else to love you if you can’t love yourself, so treat yourself as you would a favourite friend. Everything’s fine on the career front.
Your message
The best way to get what you want? Practise, act with faith and do your best.

LIBRA
23 September – 22 October
Your personal planet – the one that exhales love, relationships, beauty and a social life – moves in on the 7th.  After the 20th, you can add in creative genius and experimentation.
Your message
Sharing tells the universe you’re provided for.

SCORPIO
23 October – 21 NovemberNew make-up, untried health regimes – you’re responding to the planet’s urge to transform you. Career threatens to take over, so balance is needed.
Your message
Your thoughts become your life, so what would you think about differently?

SAGITTARIUS
22 November – 21 December
You’re switching from independent loner to social animal. Just remember your money planet takes a short break on the 6th, leaving you to fend for yourself.
Your message
Meet as many people as you can. Everyone has more than one soulmate.

CAPRICORN
22 December – 19 January
Your focus shifts to home and family. Until mid-April, you’ll be finding your own path, but help can be persuaded to join you. The finances are doing well.
Your message
As soon as you believe you deserve the best, you’ll get it.

We’ve read about some celebs’ elaborate weddings, but what about the proposals?

PINK AND CAREY HART
She’s never been the most tradi-tional girl, so when Pink felt she was ready to get hitched, she took matters into her own hands. The muso proposed during one of Carey’s motocross races. She wrote ‘Will you marry me?’ on a pit board as he was coming up on his first lap. He dismissed her so she followed that up with ‘I’m serious’ when he came around again. Once he realised she wasn’t joking, Carey promptly abandoned the race to say ‘Yes’!

PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Millions watched as an ordinary girl wed a prince in a fairy-tale ceremony, but few know William proposed while on safari in Kenya. Well known for their love of Africa, the couple had gone on a hiking holiday with some friends. Wills had stashed the emerald and diamond ring that had been his mother’s in his rucksack and during a quiet moment on their private veranda he proposed.

MARIAH CAREY AND NICK CANNON
She cast him to play her love interest in a video for her multi-platinum album E=MC2. Mariah then shocked fans when she announced that they had wed after a one-month courtship. Nick had to propose twice because Mariah turned him down the first time. His first attempt was on top of the Empire State building, which had been lit up pink and purple to promote her hotly anticipated album. He presented her with a 17 ct whopper estimated at R20 million, but he was only able to put it on her finger when she accepted his second proposal during a helicopter ride over NYC.

DAVID ARQUETTE AND COURTNEY COX
Things didn’t start well for this couple (an omen, perhaps?). When David approached Courtney’s father to ask for his daughter’s hand in marriage, her dad agreed but later tried to talk her out of it. For his proposal, David took the Cougar Town actress to a beach in Florida. While walking along the shore he asked Courtney to marry him. When she accepted, fireworks lit up the night sky. Sadly the couple separated shortly after their 11th anniversary.

CHARLIE SHEEN AND BROOKE MUELLER
Charlie had a tumultuous 2011, managing to get himself fired from his hit sitcom Two and a Half Men. But before things went pear-shaped, Charlie was married to real estate investor Brooke Mueller. He popped the question while they were on vacation in Costa Rica. The twice-married Charlie presented her with an expensive watch. On the inside he’d asked the jewellers to engrave ‘B – Wanna get married? Love C’. The couple are now divorced, but rumour has it a reconciliation may be on the cards.

SEAL AND HEIDI KLUM
When Grammy-winning soul crooner Seal decided to pop the question to German supermodel Heidi Klum, he really went all out. He had an igloo built on top of a glacier in the Canadian Rockies and kitted it out with all the mod cons an A-lister could need:
a bed, rose petals, candles, Champagne and romantic food. The couple flew to their destination in a helicopter and when they arrived, Seal asked for Heidi’s hand.Unfortunately they’re now divorced, but before their marital woes the songstress and her music exec ex were head over heels in love.

CHRISTINA AGUILERA AND JORDAN BRATMAN
Jordan whisked Christina away for a short holiday to Carmel, California. He had their room carpeted with rose petals and he wrapped presents with personally penned poems inside for her to unwrap. When she got to the last gift, there was a five-carat diamond engagement ring inside. Jordan promptly got on one knee and asked her to be his missus.