Sandra Gordon found out more about the four basic stress types and how to get a handle on them. Which one are you?

You’re in a flimsy gown in the doctor’s office and are either shivering or sweating from stress. If only you could relax, everything would be fine… You close your eyes and try to picture chilling out on the beach last summer. No luck. You don’t see anything and actually tense up more. ‘Relaxation is very individual,’ says Jon Seskevich, who specialises in stress and pain management at Duke University Hospital in North Carolina. That’s because we don’t all experience stress in the same way. There are four basic stress types, and each requires a different relaxation technique.

TYPE 1 – THE MONITOR
The monitor’s modus operandi is control. You like to live in the present at all times and ask a lot of questions in stressful situations. Despite an active imagination, you find it nearly impossible to mentally escape from the source of stress.

You know you’re a monitor if…

• In the dentist’s or doctor’s room, you keep your eyes open and stay focused on what’s going on around you. You tend to enquire about every little poke and prod. (‘Um … now what are you doing?’)
• If asked to imagine yourself, say, walking through a peaceful forest, you either get a blank screen or can’t focus on the image for more than a few seconds.
• You’re filled with ‘what-if’s’ when under stress. What if your child gets sick and has to stay home from school and you miss your Monday meeting? What if your husband gets retrenched? What if you trip when you’re walking down the aisle at your best friend’s wedding? ‘The monitor’s mind can be their worst enemy when it comes to relaxing,’ says clinical psychologist Patricia McWhorter.

Stress SOS
Physical relaxation techniques such as belly breathing (breathing from the depths of your diaphragm) work best. During stressful situations, monitor your breathing by placing your hand on your abdomen and watching it rise and fall in sync with each breath. Like Lamaze during childbirth, belly breathing distracts you from the event at hand. It also helps counteract the quick, shallow chest breathing associated with stress. As a result, it lowers your heart rate and blood pressure, and sustains the amount of oxygen in your blood – all of which help short-circuit the release of fight-or-flight hormones throughout the body, says Jon.

Monitors also benefit from satisfying their need for information and control. If you’re diagnosed with a medical condition, for example, calm yourself by reading up on it. Have to make a speech? Practise, practise, practise.

TYPE 2 – THE DISTRACTOR
If you’re a distractor, you would rather stick your head in the sand and not know the details. You find it easy to escape mentally.

You know you’re a distractor if…

• During a medical procedure, you maintain a let-me-know-when-it’s-over mindset. ‘You’re inclined to say, “Just give me the big picture” or “Don’t tell me”,’ says Carol Goldberg, a New York-based clinical psychologist specialising in stress-management workshops.
• During a turbulent flight, you find it easy to turn over and fall sleep or escape in a book.
• When your boss drops yet another project on your desk, you take a quick mental time-out and imagine yourself sipping margaritas on the stoep at sunset. Ahh…

Stress SOS
If this sounds like you, milk your talents for creative visualisation. Imagine yourself somewhere better during trying times, but don’t focus on just any mental image. ‘Try different scenarios and pick one you truly find relaxing,’ says Jon. Keep engaging reading material and your favourite DVDs on hand for instant escapism.

‘Focus on an interesting object in the room or a complex and meaningful thought, something that gets your mind involved,’ suggests psychiatry professor David Jenkins.

You can also turn to music. Concentrate on the lyrics, or remember a time and  place associated with the song or artist. For stress relief on the run, load your iPod or MP3 player with tunes that soothe you.

TYPE 3 – THE SPIRITUALLY INCLINED
You believe there is a higher power that gives you direction in your life and protects you.

You know you’re spiritually inclined if…

• Repeating a prayer or a spiritual mantra during anxious times calms and comforts you. You feel a deep sense of sacrednessfor all things, like the splendour of a spring day or the divinity of a sunset.
• You wouldn’t hurt a fly. Literally.

Stress SOS
Repeating a short spiritual concentration phrase or mantra is probably your best antidote for stress. (Secular mantras such as ‘be calm’ or ‘relaxed mind, calm body’ do nothing for you.) But again, be picky. ‘Choose a phrase that resonates with you,’ says Jon.

For general stress relief, Patricia suggests you connect with nature. ‘Go for a leisurely walk in the park or on the beach, or sit and watch the sunset.’

Other options are listening to yoga and meditation tapes that combine spirituality with outdoor imagery, or carrying something with you that evokes a feeling of solace and protection, such as a photo of a nature scene. But don’t try to force it, cautions Patricia. ‘Spirituality is highly individual. You need to find something simple that connects you.’ Repeat your mantra a few times or pull out the photo and look at it when you feel yourself getting stressed.

TYPE 4 – THE FIDGETER
The fidgeter needs some form of exercise to find even marginal stress relief. ‘Physically passive relaxation techniques, such as creative visualisation and medi-tation, often don’t work,’ says New York-based mental health expert, Dr Jason Kornrich.

You know you’re a fidgeter if…

• You’ve got energy to burn. The very thought of sitting still through a movie or manicure drives you batty.
• You feel de-stressed after exercise even though during your workout, your mind wanders … to the email you didn’t write, to which outfit to wear for dinner with your potential in-laws, to whether the dog needs to go to the vet.
• You’re a master at multitasking: you make mental to-do lists during your drive to work, while talking on your cellphone (hands-free kit of course) and sipping a latte.

Stress SOS
Fidgeters need to engage body and mind for a deep sense of mental and physical relaxation. Your best bet: a walking meditation, where you concentrate on feeling your feet touch the ground with each step and silently repeat a soothing phrase such as ‘easy does it’. This exercise, says Jon, helps you ‘focus your mind in the present moment’. Otherwise, you’re apt to walk and worry and deprive yourself of that much-needed mental break.

Exercise in general is also beneficial, but it’s important to choose an activity that demands your undivided attention. Team sports, dance classes or terrain-challenging mountain biking work well.

For stressful moments when exercise is definitely not an option, try progressive muscle relaxation, suggests John Harvey, author of Total Relaxation (Oxford University Press). To do this, simply tighten or contract the muscles in one area of your body and hold for five or more seconds.

Then release the muscles and move on to the next area.

UNIVERSAL DE-STRESSORS

Deep diaphragmatic breathing Though ideal for monitors, oxygenated belly breaths can be a stress saver for other stress types too. ‘When you’re taking long, deep breaths, you interrupt the physiological response of anxiety, which is to breathe shallowly,’ says clinical psychologist Douglas Jones.

Seek support When you’re lying in bed or trying to relax in the dentist’s chair, your shoulders may still be hunched and your fists clenched, says Jon. This can sabotage your relaxation efforts. To relax those muscles, let
the bed or chair support your weight by telling yourself to ‘feel the bed’ (or the chair) beneath you, he suggests. You’ll be surprised by how good this paradigm shift feels.

Get physically fit Even if you’re not a fidgeter, there’s no better way to burn off steam (not to mention kilojoules!) than a workout. In fact, exercise can also physiologically prepare you for more passive relaxation techniques, such as creative visualisation or meditating while using a calming mantra. ‘Plus, it releases those happy endorphins,’ says Patricia.

DID YOU KNOW?
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