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It usually starts with a few words: ‘Just one more’or ‘I want it now’. It seems pretty harmless to respond by giving in to the demand, which involves striking some sort of a deal with your child – ‘You can have one more, but then you have to go to sleep’. Easy right? Both parties are happy and get what they want. But is it going to work in the long run? Whether or not to negotiate with your child is a contentious issue. Scott Brown, author of How to Negotiate With Kids… Even when you think you shouldn’t, believes it’s a good exercise. ‘The negotiation between parentsand kids can be a great learning experience. If you don’t negotiate, your children may not learn how to deal with conflict constructively. If you don’t teach them how to work with you, they may never learn how to work with others.’ However, Anne Cawood, a social worker and the author of books such as Toddlers Need Boundaries and Children Need Boundaries, disagrees. ‘When parents allow themselves to be pulled into situations of bargaining with their children, aspects of imbalance in the parent-child relationship begin to emerge.’ So what, then, is the right approach?

Rules of engagement

A bargaining transaction implies that two parties have an equal footing, but this is not the case in aparent-child relationship. Bargaining quickly descends into bribery and threats: ‘If you stop crying, I’ll buy you a chocolate’ or ‘Wait till your father gets home…’.‘Parents usually allow themselves to be drawn into the negative habit of bargaining when they are confronted with a very strong-willed toddler, as the parent doesn’t want to become overbearing and harsh. So, in a well-intentional attempt at being more accommodating, the ineffective habit of bargaining starts,’ says Anne.

She believes the current generation of parents has got the balance wrong. As children, they were generally exposed to a stricter parenting style with no input into decision-making. Now, as parents, they arehanding over far too much power to their kids. ‘Parentsbargain with their children because they are afraid to set firm boundaries. They fear their children’s displeasure,which leads to endless haggling sessions.’Andalene Salvesen, international parenting coach and founder of consultancy Monsters to Munchkins, believes that excessive bargaining can have long term effects.

‘Children grow up to believe the wholeworld owes them something for anything they do,’she says. Anne agrees. ‘Children quickly learn thatthey can control their parents, often turning the tables and initiating the process of bargaining. By the timethis toddler becomes a teenager, the scene will beset for parents who feel disempowered and helpless.’They could then enter adulthood with a learnt ability to manipulate, which is not a healthy platform forfuture relationships.

Action Plan

If bargaining is not an effective strategy, what other options do parents have? ‘Children need the securityof age-appropriate boundaries,’ says Anne. Parents should not be afraid to make their expectations known to their children. ‘Clear rules and limits should be set according to the age of the child. Within these limits, they are given choices. They also need an understanding of the consequences of choosing to breakthe rules. As children grow and develop, they should be involved in the discussion and negotiation of setting these rules,’ says Anne.

Andalene believes in instilling ‘first-time obedience’.‘For example, if you tell your eight-year-old their bed time is 8 pm, every night they go to bed at 8 pm with out argument. On special occasions, you can negotiate an extra half hour, if requested.’ This will make them feel included and respected. Anne concurs and saysthat in such instances, the child’s feelings and opinions are taken into account, but they still feel the firmness of parental boundaries. Parents today need to reclaim some power and control with confidence. Children need parents who are able to stay consistent and who do not fall intothe bargaining trap.

Terms and conditions

‘Bargaining could give a child too much power– and could instil insecurity in them,’ says author Anne Cawood. She suggests these alternatives:

• Help your child feel understood and accept their feelings. Do this by saying, ‘I can see you really want that toy…’
• Then make it clear that there is a boundary:‘…but there is no money for a new toy now.’
• Stay firm and consistent.
• Invite the child to think of possible solutions.‘Although you cannot have the toy now, let’s write a list of things you want for your birthday.’
• Set a firm limit to pleas and bargaining. ‘Wewill not discuss it any further – and if you goon shouting, there will be no dessert.’

‘I work better under pressure’ is an excuse commonly used by many people to justify why we put projects off until the very last minute. While this may hold true for some, we can’t over look the possibility that we would probably produce better results if we managed our time better and completed task in advance – rushed, subpar work is often the result of pushing these tasks to the back of our mind. And what about the health implications of the stress from working on tight deadlines? The truth of the matter is: yes, most of us procrastinate to some degree. But if your stalling begins to hinder your development and growth, it’s time to do something about it.

What’s The Problem?

Stephanie Moss is a life coach based in Durban who specialises in helping clients get to the root of their inability to reach private and personal goals. She says that most procrastinators agree with the following statement: ‘A part of me wants to get the job done, but another part holds me back. I have no idea why I can’t just do it.’While one part of us knows that tackling the task will bring satisfaction,and lead to feelings of relief and happiness, we’re also aware of the fact that if we fail, we will feel terrible and wish we had never even tried.‘People procrastinate because the goals they set are too big or scary,’says Stephanie. Procrastination is almost aways a symptom of what’s really going on inside of us – we may suffer from low self-esteem or fee lapprehensive and anxious about the project, or even life in general.

Diversion Tactics

People procrastinate in different ways. The most common way is by doing other ‘useful’ things – ever found yourself cleaning the fridge when you should really be filing your income tax, or clearing up your desk before settling into your actual work? ‘We convince ourselves that we are being productive; albeit not with the task at hand,’ says Stephanie.We will tell ourselves that disorganisation is distracting and that once we get rid of the clutter, we will be able to work better. Stephanie says that the problem with this kind of diversion is that it usually leaves us feeling exhausted and with less energy to start the task – leading to further postponement.

It’s Bittersweet

Stephanie admits that every habit comes with positive reinforcement,even if it is a bad habit such as procrastination. The reward you get from putting something off may be a distraction from worrying about completing the actual task – as self-defeating as that may seem.When we avoid doing a task out of fear of failing and humiliation, we positively support the bad habit of procrastination by blaming lack of time, instead of confronting our weaknesses. ‘Everyone has a need for security and approval, but the only option to keep you from defeat is to knuckle down and get the job done,’ says Stephanie. Finding a way through procrastination is not only better for the short term, but also in the long run, for your self-esteem.

Wait No More

To stop procrastinating, you need to identify the fear that is holding you back. Dig deep and ask yourself what it is about the task that scares you. ‘A job in sales, for instance, may involve picking up the phone and talking to people. When looking at it objectively,a phone call is a minor thing to do.But, subconsciously, there may be angst around what the recipient is going to say,’ says Stephanie. The fear of rejection may make the caller so anxious, it prevents them from making the call at all.‘Aside from fear, we may become quite overwhelmed by the size of the project and the amount of time required to complete it,’ Stephanie says. ‘So we wait, hoping that the problem will sort itself out. Unfortunately,it often gets compounded into an even more difficult situation,with less time to solve it.’

Conquer Your Fears

• Break your tasks into smaller steps. Look at the task as a whole and evaluate how you can divide it into many little parts. A journey starts with a single step.

• Make these steps attainable and realistic. You can make them so small, they appear effortless. This will ensure you take each step, one at a time. It’s better to take 100 small steps and reach your destination, than to attempt one big leap and never summon the courage to do it

• Make sure you are fully prepared. If you need to make a phone call, for example, plan what you would like to say to avoid feeling nervous and insecure. Practise out loud and, if need be, jot down keywords so you don’t forget anything. You can adapt this logic to any task. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

• Adjust your physiology. If you’rehunched over, bring yourself into an upright position and lift your head. The simple act of changing your posture puts you in a more energetic state of mind

.• Visualise a positive outcome. Imagine you have completed the task, and feel the relief and success you will experience afterwards.

• Reward yourself. It can be as simple as having a coffee break after you have cleared your inbox. Also increase the value of the reward with the size of each completed task (budget dependent, of course). Helpful reads18 Minutes: Find your focus, master distraction, and get  the right things done By Peter Bregman (Business Plus) Filled with tips on making the best  use of your time and avoiding silly distractions, this is a great book for anyone who feels there aren’t enough hours in the day. Peteruses anecdotes from his Harvard Business Review column and makes them more accessible to non-business-minded people. Organize Your Mind Organize Your Life:

Train your brain to get more done in less time By Paul Hammerness and Margaret Moore (Harlequin) Paul believes that the key to a successful life isn’t just about making to-do lists; it’s also in organising your mind to regain control. This read promises to help you complete each task before moving on to another one.168 Hours: You have more time than you think  By Laura Vanderkam(Portfolio Hardcover) Between our careers and family life, it’s easy to feel starved for time. Laura’s book will help train you on how to prioritise important projects, cut out the clutter and celebrate more time for yourself.

Useful contact Stephanie Moss031 569 3864 www.nlpdurban.co.za

In South Africa, an increasing number of children are being raised by their grandparents. But at what cost? By Catriona Ross

Life doesn’t always go according to plan.When tragedy strikes –a child’s parents passaway or disappear, are addicted to drugs or alcohol, or are imprisoned, disabled or chronically ill – grandparents often have to step in to provide a stable home.‘In the past decade, we’ve seen an increase in children being placed in alternative care, such as with their grandparents,’ says Beatrix Marais, acting national executive director of Child Welfare South Africa.

Last year,about 560 000 children were placedwith foster families nationwide, and more than 80% were placed with their grandparents, she says.Beatrix attributes this situationto financial hardship and HIV/Aids.Annie Jollivet de Oliveira, a family counsellor in Cape Town, is seeing asimilar trend, but as a result of drug addiction among young women.

Stats from the South African Social Security Agency (SASSA) show that in 2008, beneficiaries of the grant forolder persons (over 60 years old) also drew grants for 378 308 children. By January 2012, the number of children being cared for by old-age grant beneficiaries had risen to 521 893. Add to this the extensive number of informal care arrangements, and it’s possible that up to two million kids are being raised by their grandparents.

The Reality

Being a parent for the second time is difficult, especially with advancing age. Susan Adcox, the writer of the grandparents’ guide on About.com,writes about ‘the stresses faced bygrandparents raising children: the financial burden, the energy drainand the necessity of curtailing one’sown interests’. Also, grandparent soften don’t get time to grieve the loss of their own child in the scramble to assume responsibility for the grandchildren, explains Annie. Grandparents usually find caring for small children relatively easy, but struggle with moody teenagers, says Beatrix. ‘The age gap between grandparents and grandchildren is always a problem. When we do a placement,one of the biggest questions is, “Will the grandparent be able enough to cope?” But, with the help of community support and family therapy, it could be normalised, even though the grandparents may feel too tired and too old to parent,’ she says.

Sensitive Situations

Tough questions from the children are almost a certainty, so if you are faced with the inevitable ‘What happened to mom and dad?’, talk it over,says Annie. Ask them, ‘What do you think?’, ‘What do you understand has happened?’ and ‘What have you heard?’. Don’t overwhelm them by offering too much information all at once; go slowly, at their pace. Don’t forget to recognise your own feelings too, perhaps by saying, ‘This is hard for me, because I loved your mom’. If it is an option, professional therapy can do wonders to start the healingprocess. For children, Annie suggestsa non-directive approach, such as play therapy, storytelling, drawing or writing. ‘Telling them other children’s stories that mirror their own circumstances normalises their situation. It may help them to realise that what happened is terrible and tragic, but that they’re not alone.’

Understand The Emotions

When trying to cope with grief, you have to realise that you’re all dealing with a painful loss, which involves a shock phase (even if the parent’s death was expected) and is often followed by denial, anger and sadness. Difficulties arise for grandparentswhen their bewildered, overwhelmedgrandchildren start acting out theirfeelings, which is why early traumadebriefing is important. A counsellorcan help them to accept loss asa part of life, and understand thatalthough they’re sad and will alwaysremember their parents, life goes on.Grandparents could also ‘act out’, becoming ill or sinking into depression, and should seek help. Many counsellors and organisations such as Family and Marriage Associationof South Africa (FAMSA) offer services on a sliding scale of payment according to clients’ means. Evenone, two or three sessions can make a significant difference at a crucialtime. Go as early on as possible, saysAnnie. ‘If you feel you can’t afford it,have one session, then go again if thefamily experiences a difficult patch.’ What grandparents need most is to be heard and to be able to communicate effectively and resolve conflict,whether it’s with toddlers or older teenagers, as well as to be remindedof parenting skills.M

Making A Comeback

Of course, it’s not only untimely death that robs a child of his or her parent. Addiction is rife in South Africa and more and more children are being abandoned as result of their momor dad’s inability to care for them. Sowhat should grandparents do whentheir absent, possibly unstable childreturns, wanting to see the kids? It’snormal to feel protective of childrenin your care, but a child does needcontact with his or her biologicalparents, regardless of their flaws.‘The goal is always reintegrationand to reunify the family,’ says Beatrix.‘Even if the parent is an addict, youmust allow them to see their child,and these visits can be supervisedby a social worker.’But what if the parents return andwant their children to live with themagain? Legally, the starting point is thequestion, ‘What’s in the best interestsof the child?’. ‘Grandparents may bebullied and feel vulnerable. But whena stable structure has been set up for a child, a parent can’t just come inand overturn it – he or she must beintegrated into the arrangement,’says Annie. A parenting plan that isapproved by a court or family advocatewill provide back-up. However,once a child is 12 years old, his orher preferences are also taken into account by the law.

Legally Binding

To protect both the grandparentsand the child, make the arrangementlegal. Once a court has found a childto be in need of care, he or she canbe placed in foster care with theirgrandparents. But if there is no legalagreement, the grandparents won’thave access to government grants.The monthly foster child grant ofR770 per child applies until the ageof 18 (but is sometimes extendable).A fostered child is also exempt fromschool fees and is entitled to freemedical care from governmenthospitals and clinics. ‘If the motheror father is still around, a court can’tfind a child as being in need of care;but the child is still entitled to a childsupport grant of R280 per month untilage 18, which can be applied for bya grandparent,’ says Beatrix. This canbe applied for through SASSA.  In the  case of adoption, caregivers take full responsibility for the child and have no access to government grants.

Help Yourself

For the grandparents, it’s importantto have a solid support network. Asthe primary caregiver, you may feelinadequate and overwhelmed attimes. Good communication withthe child’s teachers is imperative, asis ongoing support from neighbours,school social workers, other parentsand your religious community.Child Welfare’s home-based carersare available to visit foster parents,and help with anything from medicalissues to discipline, and even stand inwhen grandparents need to go out.Also, remember to take time off torecharge and give yourself permissionto take a break. Ask a trusted friendor a reliable person from your child’sschool to look after your grandchildso you can take a few days off. Youwill be surprised by how many peoplewant to help. ‘There’s a lot of charity nd not too embarrassed, proud orshy to ask. There is hope, so don’tgive up,’ says Annie.Beatrix agrees. ‘When grandparentsbecome foster parents, there are lotsof success stories, especially whenfamily members are involved.’

Preparing For It

If you’re faced with having to takecare of your grandchildren, askyourself these questions (basedon Child Welfare’s foster-carerequirements) to see if you areready for the commitment:

• Do you have a support system?

• Are there other family members,friends and people in the communitywho can support youand the child?

• What is your financial situation?

• How is your physical andemotional health?

• What facilities (educational,medical) are nearby?

• Will you be able to help withtheir schoolwork?

• Will you be able to take thechild to the clinic or hospitalwhen necessary?

• Is there space in your house toaccommodate another person?

• Does your home have thenecessary facilities for children?

Useful contacts

• Child Welfare South Africa011 452 4110 www.childwelfaresa.org.za

• FAMSA011 975 7106/7 www.famsa.org.za

• The South African SocialSecurity Agency www.sassa.gov.za

• The Support Groupfor Grandparents: Anita Grant072 419 8630Annie Jollivet de Oliveira083 701 4872 Pauline Svitz082 570 7165

Life coaching is a relatively young profession that is growing in popularity. Some say it’s new-age mum bo-jumbo, others believe there are real benefits. Lauren Graham weighs in

Making a change in your life, no matter how big or small, is a difficult task. Many  people think they need to do it alone – just look at the number of self-help guides avail able at bookshops or the abundance of blogs and websites that focus on personal growth and development.Of course, much of the work has to be done by you, but it doesn’t mean you can’t seek the help of someone who will hold your hand along the way and give you a push when it’s needed (don’t  forget, moving from‘learning it’ to ‘living it’ is easier said than done). Ten years ago, life coaches were on the fringe of society, with just a few hundred practitioners. Today, an international coaching association boasts more than 15 000 members. Does this mean there’s more to this than hype?

Working It

Life coaches use a variety of tools and techniques to help people identify and achieve personal goals. There are many misconceptions surrounding this profession – the biggest one being that they teach life skills. ‘You would not seek their help if you are having problems,’ says Shelley Le win, a life coach. ‘You would see them if you’re feeling stuck and do not know the best way to move forward.’ The coach and client work together to tackle issues, and Shelley calls this relationship‘an alliance between two equals with the purpose of meeting the client’s needs’.While coaching as a profession is both fresh and developing, its roots are deep and have been influenced by other fields of study, including personal development, adult education,sports psychology and leadership practices. Life coaching lets you explore all your options and then helps you to implement the change  that best suits you.

New Strategies

Shelley explains that life coaching is a powerful way to improve the ability to learn, as well as develop a mental, physical, emotional and spiritual mindset that will help a person achieve their dreams.A life coach develops an understanding of a client’s ‘current reality’and their ‘preferred reality’, and then works on the baby steps needed to get from one to the other. ‘We unpack why the preferred future is wanted, because change doesn’t happen unless the will to change is greater than the desire to stay in your comfort zone,’ she says.The process begins with determining what the client needs in order for change to happen. ‘We assess what is currently working, and then help our clients to do more of that. Were move disharmony, identify barriers to success, find support systems and add insight and awareness. But the client is made responsible for their choices and actions.’

a Different Type Of Therapy

There are clear differences between seeing a psychologist and consulting a life coach. Therapy has its roots in medicine and pathology, while life coaching looks to both sport and business, along with positive psychology,says Shelley.‘Life coaching is short term, future focused and solution-oriented. On the other hand, therapy is long term, focused on the past and looks at problems, working with why things are the way they are. Life coaching is outcomes-based and leaves the client as the expert in their own life, while in therapy, the psychologist is seen as the expert and tells the client what to do.’ For those suffering from depression, a life coach cannot replace therapy.Shelley’s clients include people who want to make their lives simpler and more sustainable, or redesign it completely, people who are confused about who they are and what they want, or those curious about what their mission, vision and purpose is. ‘I help people uncover or amplify strengths that will then help them to become authentically powerful. I also guide individuals to move from having ambition to finding meaning in their lives and achieving their dreams. All one step at a time.’

The Person Behind It

Coaches have been called friends, motivators, mentors, teachers and business consultants. ‘Everyone can benefit from seeing a life coach.It works because the coach helps clients set and reach higher and more appropriate goals, stretch their capacity or produce results quicker,’says Shelley. Often the intellectual and emotional intimacy generated between a coach and client fulfils a legitimate need to be understood. The coaching  relationship offers a platform where the individual can thrive, as they are able to share their opinions, hopes,dreams, feelings, faults, fears and failures in a safe, supportive and encouraging environment. Coaching creates a context where you get to work regularly on the most important issues of your life, which involves consolidating, integrating, thinking and pushing on. It is a very powerful process that is designed to enhance life-long learning, effectiveness and fulfilment.

Fad or Fab?

Since the mid-1990s, coaching has developed into a more independent discipline. Coaches and Mentors of South Africa is the South African professional body for life coaches, while the International Coach Federation is another regulatory body, which reputable coaches could be registered with. Yet still, coaching is viewed by many as a scam, usually by those who have not had the experience of a quality coach, says Shelley. ‘Public awareness of one of the fastest growing and most dynamic disciplines in the world is low, but perception is slowly changing.’

Spot The Pro

Someone credible will be a member of a regulatory body,such as Coaches and Mentors of South Africa (Comensa) or the International Coach Federation (ICF).

• There are training institutes for coaches around the world. Find out where a coach has been trained and browse that institute’s website.

• Testimonials and referrals are always a good place to find out the true experience of a coach.

• A successful coach will have strong marketing material. To separate themselves from other coaches, they will need to have published articles, newsletters and an efficient website, and would also be asked to give talks or facilitate workshops.

• Any good coach understands the importance of chemistry in the relationship with their client, and should therefore offer an obligation chat or meeting before expecting a potential client to make the commitment to a contract.

Useful contacts

Coaches and Mentorsof South Africa021 781 0812 www.comensa.org.za

International Coach Federation www.coachfederation.org

New Life Coach082 829 7972 www.newlifecoach.net

1 A friend’s dress sense is inappropriate. You love your friend’s fun personality, but you don’t like her revealing clothes. It’s tricky to tell her without hurting her feelings; the key is to start off by giving her a compliment on something that you do like. Then suggest she wears a longer skirt or higher-cut top that will prevent her from accidentally exposing herself. Or offer to go shopping with her, and then point her to more appropriate styles.

2 You don’t want to be friends any more. Your friend has borrowed money from you and ‘forgotten’ to pay you back one too many times. Or perhaps there have been more uncomfortable silences when you get together. Ending it face to face is best, and be honest.‘Being polite doesn’t mean you should hide your feelings,’ says Charlotte Youens, an etiquette expert. ‘Tell them that you don’t have much in common and would prefer not to be friends.’

3 You have developed a romantic interest in a friend.You are trying to ignore your feelings, in the hope they disappear, but all you can think about is him or her. ‘Take your time to decide if you want to speak up,’says Charlotte. If you choose to go ahead, do so in person and be truthful – they may feel the same way. But if they don’t, try not to push them away. Ask for time if you need it and hopefully your friendship is strong enough.

4 A colleague has bad body odour. Other than blurting out ‘What’s that smell?’ when they are near you, telling someone they have unpleasant body odour or bad breath is difficult. Talk to them in private,asserting that you don’t want to embarrass them, but that you would want to know if you were in their position. ‘Try telling your own smelly story so they don’t feel like they’re the only one,’ says Charlotte. Or buy them a fragrance for their birthday.

5 Someone’s fly is down. As your boss gets into the lift, you notice their zip is undone. Should you or shouldn’t you say something?  The kindest thing you can do is to tell them. Yes, it maybe embarrassing, but he or she will be really thankful. The same goes if your female manager has lipstick on her teeth.

6 Telling a friend their partner is cheating. Be certain of the facts before you say anything– the last thing you want to do is spread lies and hurt people. Next you need to approach the person who is having the affair and tell them what you know. It’s their responsibility to come clean to their partner. But they may refuse to be honest, in which case you should ask yourself this: if the situation were reversed, would you want to know? If you decide to say something to your friend, do so carefully, affirming that you’re there to support them.

7 Your sister’s haircut looks weird. This is all about the art of diversion. If she asks for your pinion, say that you preferred the previous style or mention a different style you think would look good on her.

8 You’re right, they’re wrong. We all love to be right, but is it really necessary to point it out to people? Ask yourself:  have they requested your advice? Are they doing something illegal or immoral? If you still feel it is necessary, do so constructively by starting and ending off on a positive note.

9 Their jokes just aren’t funny. Your brother thinks he has a future career in comedy, but the joke is on him. The best approach? Just don’t laugh. It may lead to an awkward silence, but he should eventually get the message. If his jokes are offensive ,tell him you’d rather he doesn’t make disrespectful comments around you.

10 There’s spinach in your date’s teeth. Let’s be honest – we all want to know if there’s food stuck in our teeth.  If you’re the bearer of the news, wait a few moments to see if they notice it.  If not, discretely point to the corresponding area in your own teeth. If they don’t realise what you’re pointing to, lean over and quietly mention there’s something in their teeth.

By Linda Shaw

CANCER 21 June – 22 July

Speak to your partner in a loving way before the 27th – there are issues to be aired and expectations to be met. List five ways to make money and make a wish during the lunar eclipse on the 4th. Your message Think ‘I have’ and be grateful.

LEO23 July – 22 August

You are learning to work smart instead of hard, as every little effort has its rewards. The lunar eclipse brings misunderstandings ,so when in doubt, apologise.Your message Words can be forgotten in a moment. Only action has meaning.

VIRGO23 August – 22 September

Travel is likely, while a short holiday before the 12th sends opportunities to explore new options. At work, hold back until you can see how the land lies.Your message You have the  power to change any part ofyour life you don’t like.

LIBRA23 September – 22 October

Relationships based on fantasy are getting ready to evaporate. Real love returns after the 27th. Before that, concentrate on your fabulous self. Your message Love is glorious, creative and determined. Dive in.

SCORPIO23 October – 21 November

Financial dramas melt away, but you’ll only see the results after the 27th. Romance hots up, so use this energy to find true love.Your message It’s not about being a better you, it’s about knowing you are that already.

CAPRICORN22 December – 19 January

A fulfilling career is yours for the taking. All you have to do is ask. Love may take a couple of detours, but even that isn’t off the charts. Your message You are what you think. Change your thoughts and you’ll change your life.

AQUARIUS20 January – 18 February

Your charm has teamed up with your mind, and turned you into a combination of delights. The patterns underlying the big picture – business, social and romance – are coming together.Your message Always do what you can.

PISCES19 February – 20 March

Unresolved issues will manifest in your body. This is a time for harsh reality – problems face dare never as bad as those ignored. Love looks up after the 27th. Your message Abundance isn’t how much you have, but your feelings about what you have.

ARIES21 March – 19 April

Changes in the career look interesting, as long as you keep the fantasies on a leash. After the 27th, you’ll begin to understand what’s going on.Your message To live the life of your dreams, start living it.

TAURUS20 April – 20 May

Your influence at work is growing as your network expands. Avoid offers of instant wealth. Lunatics chemes will cost you valuable time and money.Your message Do you want more money, love, energy and laughter? It’s just a thought away.

SAGITTARIUS22 November – 21 December

You are pursuing new ventures– just ensure no one snatches them from you. Creativity is your new middle name, but practicality is something you’ll have to work on.Your message Money-making isn’t serious business.

Mark Wahlberg

Gemini21 May – 20 June

Money: Finances are on the in crease. If you’re not seeing it yet, accept the odd gift or bonus to cheer you up while you wait. Jobs are also on offer, if you are keen, that is.

Love: The eclipse tests all your relationships in early June. But as long as you keep quiet,you will sail through without a problem.

At home: It’s a happy month, despite the occasional pothole in the road. Prepare for sudden changes of plan. Mostly though,you’re being offered travel,fun and exploration.

Your message: We pick people to share our lives with because they’re fun, loving, interesting and exciting.

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